beaurocracy

hard to spell AND navigate! Here are some excerpt conversations from Nogales work today:

“Hi. I’m trying to get detention records for one of your recently released inmates.”
“You need to call the National Records Center.”

“Hi. I’m trying to get detention records for a recently released inmate from Eloy, Arizona.”
“Where is this being faxed to?”
“(my name) (my fax number)”
“Are you with I.C.E.?”
“No, I’m with an organization.”
“Oh. An organization? We don’t release records to the public.”
“Ah. Who should I call to get these records?”
“The district office of where they were detained.”
“They told me to call here.”
“Well, this is the National Records Center. We don’t release records.”
“Can you give me the appropriate phone number to call?”
“No, ma’am. I don’t even have a phone.”
“…What are you talking on, then?”
“Excuse me?”
“Never mind. Bye.”

“This is the Eloy Detention Center.”
“Hi. Can I be transferred to medical?”
“I’ll try to transfer you, but let me give you the extension in case it doesn’t work.”
“….okay….”   (in case it doesn’t work? wtf)

“Health Services.”
“Hi. I’m trying to get the hospilization records of one of your recently deported inmates.”
“You have to talk to medical for that.”
“Isn’t that who this is?”
“No, ma’am. This is health services.”
“Ah…Okay? Can you transfer me?”
“Sure.”

“Eloy Medical.”
“Hi. I’m trying to get hospilization records for one of your recently deported inmates.”
“Who am I speaking to?”
“His….legal representative.”
“Oh, alright. You’d have to talk to (someone else) for that. Let me get her.”
“Hi. I’m trying to get hospitalization records for one of your recently deported inmates.”
“Oh, alright. You’d have to talk to (someone else) for that. Let me get her.”

“Hi….I’m trying to get hospitalization records for one of your recently deported inmates.”
“Oh, alright. You’d have to talk to (someone else) for that. Let me get her.”

“Hi. I’m trying to get hospitalization records for one of your recently deported inmates.”
“Oh, alright. You’d have to talk to (someone else) for that. Let me get her.”

(I’M NOT EXAGGERATING, FOLKS)
“Hi. I’m trying to get hospitalization records for one of your recently deported inmates.”  (At this point, the other people in the room were laughing at the number of times they’d heard me say this)

“Ah. Have you send in a fax for records request?”
“…No. I’m just trying to figure out what the process is for this. Is that a form?”
“Um…Let me think…No…I don’t think so….Just send us a fax at (number) and….Include their date of birth and alien number and…Their name. Then it will be sent to the medical administrator for approval. You can call (Number) to check the status of your request.”
“Thanks…I think.”
“Sure”

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