Revlisy's Weblog

revlisy — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 20:36:58 +0000

New-old site with much more obnoxious URL back up:

http://fig.scripts.mit.edu/~fig/1/

This message will self-destruct* whenever I get around to it…

*be destroyed by myself

revlisy — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 16:04:01 +0000

They say that new experiences change you. And, oh, I’ve changed. I can’t really believe it; I don’t want to admit it…I’ve changed in a way that I never thought I would.

…I’ve turned into…a morning person.

No, seriously. It’s true. I’m early to bed and early to rise and everything. I never stay up past midnight anymore just because I get too tired. There’s no point to being awake then anyway because I can’t get any work done or even do something as simple as write.

But in the morning – I’m up and ready to go at 6am. THREE HOURS before I even need to start getting ready. And my psets are suddenly a lot easier because my mind can focus and understand things better…Just the fact that I can think about homework at 6am is a complete turnaround for me.

I wonder if this has to do with the fact that I feel very comfortable with life right now. When I go to sleep at night, I’m not worrying about all the things I have to do and how I shouldn’t be sleeping, and when I wake up in the morning I don’t feel completely hopeless about anything I’m planning on attempting.

Or maybe, I’m still just stuck on Boston time.

revlisy — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 05:26:38 +0000

Wow. That post yesterday was just embarrassingly whiny. Luckily, today was a lot better and even though I should be studying, I think I owe everyone (you know, all two of you) something less depressing.

Today, my bike pump got fixed, I got a decent, not-very-expensive tire, I FOUND MY MAILBOX KEY (i know, that’s amazing, isn’t it? It was in some weeds outside an office I was at yesterday. I retraced all my steps, and for once, it worked!), I got a good grade for the third time in a row on a physics pset, and I sort of got an internship (I don’t know if it’s officially being called that, but it’s basically what it is). Also, I was told I was missed, and even though I guess I know that people care about me, it’s still somehow really relieving to hear it out loud (out loud on the computer, I mean…)

Although- whenever I even let me think about missing anyone, I have to swallow the lump in my throat and change my line of thinking before I’m in a sad rut.

Tomorrow has the potential to be another really awful day – I’m getting on exam back and taking another – so I should probably start doing something more productive…

revlisy — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 04:27:57 +0000

Man, I am feeling so discouraged right now. In the past week, I’ve lost my mailbox key and cell phone. Ironically, I have a new cell phone coming in the mail…I’m sure I’ll be able to get a new key, but I’ll probably get charged for it, and I just feel kind of guilty about it in general. I’m an awful roommate – losing the key, leaving the door unlocked, leaving the stove on when I leave…

I have gotten two flat tires, have a broken bike pump and haven’t found a job yet, so I can’t really afford a new tire, tubes or pump. I’m not off to a good start in school, partially due to not having a computer or printer (I can’t print out my problem sets) and partially because I guess I just haven’t made enough of an effort to get to the computer lab.

And I can’t seem to catch up on any of these things. I’m always rushing to do something else at the last minute and feel like I’m misallocating my time, but I’m not sure how. This is particularly distressing because I’m not taking very many units – how can I expect myself to perform well at MIT when I can’t even keep up with things here?

This is the first real update from Arizona, and it’s pretty depressing, huh? It really hasn’t been a bad time. I like it here a lot and I’m doing and learning a lot of interesting things. It’s just that, in the midst of excitement, I never want to take the time to write about them.

The night after a pretty bad exam and before a pretty daunting p-set, that always seems like the right time.

revlisy — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 22:51:39 +0000

today in sign language, my deaf teacher kept squeaking the chalk while he wrote. we were all writhing in our seats, but with his back to us, he had no idea what was going on. when he turned around he saw our faces and asked what was wrong. so we had to teach him how to use chalk. it was amusing.

i have so much to write about, but i forgot my laptop charger in illinois so i haven’t really been using the internet much lately. i finally gave in and ordered a new one (my dad mailed mine, but if it hasn’t arrived by now i don’t think it’s going to) so I should be able to post all sorts of interesting things (like, “it’s hot in arizona, really hot, all the time”) soon.

revlisy — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 08:17:08 +0000

“This man had eyes as blue as ice and a hairy face, and when he gave the paper to Wang Lung it was seen that his hands were also hairy and red-skinned. He had, moreover, a great nose projecting beyond his cheeks like a prow beyond the sides of a ship and Wang Lung, although frightened to take anything from his hand, was more frightened to refuse, seeing the man’s strange eyes and fearful nose. He took what was thrust at him, then, and when he had courage to look at it after the foreigner had passed on, he saw on the paper a picture of a man, white-skinned, who hung upon a cross-piece of wood. The man was without clothes except for a bit about his loins, and to all appearances he was dead, since his head drooped upon his shoulder and his eyes were closed above his bearded lips. Wang Lung looked at the pictured man in horror and with increasing interest. There were characters underneath, but of those he could make nothing.

He carried the picture home at night and showed it to the old man. But he also could not read and they discussed its possible meaning, Wang Lung and the old man and the two boys. The two boys cried out in delight and horror. ‘And see the blood streaming out of his side!’

And the old man said, ‘Surely this was a very evil man to be thus hung.’”

–The Good Earth, Pearl S. Buck

revlisy — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 08:02:03 +0000

I used to be more free, when I didn’t have friends I deeply cared about, when I didn’t think my family was important, when I didn’t live in a place that was so compatible with my lifestyle.

Am I better off now? Now that I have so much to lose?

Saying “I’m nervous that I’m going to be lonely and miserable in Arizona” doesn’t even begin to describe…

revlisy — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 03:53:47 +0000

1. I found out the author of a book I read used to be a Harvard professor. I instantly took the book more seriously. It was subconscious. I didn’t WANT to do it. I want to be free from such classist assumptions. But despite being aware of my cognitive process, I could not stop it.

2. The fact that I can’t travel freely in the entire world as a woman has always been a pet peeve (hyperbolic understatement!) of mine. There are countries where women are not allowed to travel unaccompanied, and I would be forced to wear things I don’t want to wear. There are places I would not be allowed to enter and conversations and events I would not be allowed to take part in. It particularly bothers me because I want to travel the WHOLE PLANET (preferably on a bike), and these barriers could stop me.

It recently occurred to me that despite the fact that I am kept from a lot, as a woman, I also have access to many people, places and things that men do not. Why do I insist on regarding male-dominated events as the only important ones? There are entire worlds, and more importantly, human beings, behind doors, veils, burqas, that I can learn from and about that a man could never dream of gaining access to. Millions of stories and ideas and dreams that are non-trivial parts of cultures. And if my goal is just to learn about the culture with a more realistic/less foreign view of it, won’t the most enlightening revelations be experienced in the company of the oppressed?

This only makes me feel a little more at peace. I’m still mad that I wouldn’t be able to get away with wearing bike shorts.

3. I hate puppies.

(No, seriously. I don’t care if it makes me a horrible human being. I really do hate puppies.)

revlisy — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 17:22:04 +0000

“Papa build the orphanage by hand…Then, as a service to the community, he built a church next door. He and his sons labored for almost a year, using cement, stucco, and wood. It was the first Protestant church on that part of the coast. Once the church was done, Papa realized he orphanage needed modernizing, so he hauled out his ladders and hammers again and began an ambitious construction project behind the original orphanage. This one would be entirely of brick and cement block, with modern bathrooms and dorm rooms throughout. American work crews eagerly joined in, bringing him supplies and fresh-faced youth groups who scrambled up and down Papa’s ladders, slopping cement and banging nails.

On those days, Papa stood watching, his ever-present white helmet bobbing slightly. He gripped either a huge white cup of coffee or a banana.

At the end of the day, he thanked everybody. As soon as they were on the highway back north, he climbed his ladder and undid the work they had done wrong. Often, Papa spent two days fixing angles and rehammering frames. ‘It’s alright,’ he said. ‘The young people need to work. It’s good for them to have work.’”

-Luis Alberto Urrea, in Across the Wire: Life And Hard Times on the Mexican Border.

revlisy — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 17:59:51 +0000

“Are those people poor?”
“Very poor.”
“Wow, they’re lucky to be on tv. I’m not poor and I haven’t even been on tv!”

-My sister, while watching a documentary about illegal immigrants.